Tuesday, December 27, 2011

And we're out of prison

Hi Ya'll ,

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Ours was as good as being all alone ,except for each other, and being held prisoner by public holidays ,would allow.

That translates to we've been stuck in this house since Friday ,with nothing in town open, no where to go ,nothing to do, and we've been going mad with boredom.

We have entertained ourselves by napping exsessivly,spying on the rats in the back yard ,watching episode after episode of Dexter in the middle of the night, and smoking too many cigarettes.

Family and scabble desperately needed here

The famous self made, double baking pan :) sweet potato casserole on one side,stuffing on the other.

Amazingly ,all our food turned out fabulous!

Including the zombie turkey.

"who wants some turkey?"

"we do! we do! I can really have some turkey?"

Trot ..trot.. trot...

"You are awesome mama!We LOVE turkey!"

Huge table for 2, almost sad ,isn't it?

Daddy's bland ,unseasoned food

MMMMM...that's more like it!


Yesterday ,we could take no more of being stuck in this house. We decided to take a drive over the bridge to Malmo ,Sweden. 

Little did we know that we would be charged a 295 Dkk toll on EACH side of the bridge. Yowza! 

I took several pictures but it was so gray and dreary out ,the pictures were all crap. 

Had I been alone, I would have parked some place and walked around or something. Butttt....since hubby was in charge, we just drove around for a while and then headed back over the bridge to Copenhagen. He was in a hurry to get back because we had found out that the hardware store was open. 

No, I'm not kidding.

At that point ,walking around the hardware store sounded like a grand adventure, even to me.

And he DID put the doors on our closets last night. So, it's all good.

I'm dying to know what everyone got from Santa! 

Copenhagen is back among the living today ,everything is back open,so I am out of here!

                                     Have a great day peeps!

                                             luv me

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

Happy Christmas Eve ya'll,

       I'm sure that some of you are busy ,celebrating with family and friends, some are lucky enough to be in the glorious company of babies and children. I envy all of you!

This has been one of the longest days of our lives. I woke up late ,at 8:30 due to my husbands insomnia ,and him watching TV, half the night. 

My face is broken out like the "before" kid on an acne infomercial,and my spouse just split his nose open on the hatchback of the car.I think perhaps we should avoid posing for any Christmas photos.

Here in Denmark, today, tomorrow AND the next day are all public holidays. Meaning, the mail didn't run ,hubbys major gift is sitting at the post office ,undelivered, everything is closed,except maybe a 7-11 type store ...until TUESDAY!

In the last two days I have read,

        This one was readable but a little out there.Wouldn't reccomend it ,unless you're really bored.

  This one was pretty good. I don't usually read Steven King because he's a little too wordy. This book looked smaller so I got it. It was actually 4 LONG short stories.


It's now Christmas day  about 2 P.M.

We just opened our presents . Woot!

The turkey is on the smoker and by the way, the turkey was the ONLY turkey I could find. It was frozen when I bought it and said "French Turkey" well , when hubby opened it up the gross thing still had feathers all over it and it's skin was half way split off. It was like some hideous zombie turkey.

Apparently French turkeys don't pluck. Appetizing ,oui?

I think I'll pass on that skin! I still have to make Stuffing, sweet potatos , mashed potatos ,gravy and some veggie. Then we will have to take a little drive and see if we can find any store that's open. We are fresh out of Happy hour!

I hope each of you has a very Merry Christmas!

                                     Luv me

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Just give me the package already

Hi all, 
Yep, I'm late again .

I've had the plauge.I've spent most of the last week lying in bed with my good buddy  ,Nyquil.

I did have to venture out a few times .One of those was a nice trip to the post office.

When you get a package here in Denmark , they leave you a slip which you take to the post office. Once in the post office you take a number and then report to the counter ,displaying your number. 

I had a package to pick up ,a package to mail to the USA and 3 envelopes to mail to Ireland and Scottland.

My number comes up and I head up to the counter. 
The counter of Mean Postal guy .

Me "Hi, do you speak English?"

Mean Postal guy "  Jeg taler hollandsk og dansk "

Lovely. I show him my package and envelopes , he hands me some various stamps (which I can not even see without glasses) and spouts off some amount in Danish. I hand him my credit card.He gives me a slip to sign and then sees that the card is in hubbys name. So he snatches my stuff back, gives me card back to me. 

Me (repeatedly " I'm sorry ,I don't understand."

Mean postal guy (repeatedly) "Jeg taler hollandsk og dansk"

I finally find enough cash to pay for the stamps.Then I hand him the slip to retrieve my package. 

He brings the package and says "Vis mig dit id"

Me "I'm sorry ,I don't understand."

Mean postal guy writes the same thing down on a piece of paper. This does not help me one bit. I finally realize he must need my Id. I show him my Arkansas drivers license. He snatches my package away from me and goes and puts it back on the shelf. 

I still have the mystery stamps and the unmailed envelopes in my hand. I wander back through the waiting crowd "does any one speak English? "

Luckily a man stepped up and said he did and he was trying to help me understand what to do with the stamps.He said "go to her (the other clerk) she speaks English Then they called HIS number, so I got myself another number to get back up to the counter. 

My number came up again and lo and behold ,I was right back in front of 

Mean Postal guy. 

This time I had the mystery stamps ON the letters, so I gave him those, returned my package slip to him and showed him my passport.

Mean postal guy "du sgu american idiot, komme ud af min linje, før jeg går post"

He gives me my package ,at last .

Me (under my breath ) "Tak! It's been a real pleasure dealing with your grouchy ass ,while sweltering in this coat for an hour. "

I pray that next time ,I get the female clerk.

I have a whole new sympathy for foreigners in a country where they don't know the language.


I also had to go in search of a certain Christmas gift ,which was hell to find,BTW and I wound up walking down Stroget the other day .The street was jam packed with people ,the Christmas lights were all lit up and then I came upon this guy ,he was speaking English to the crowd and singing country music.

I whipped out the camera long enough to do this little film and then I noticed that my battery was nearly dead.

Welcome to denmarks shopping street ,Stroget :)


It's snowing like crazy right now. I hope it sticks ! Woot!

 have a great day Peeps!

Luv me

Monday, December 12, 2011

They're gonna take over the world

Picture it.....this morning I was standing at my kitchen window ,when sudden movement caught my eye.

I stared in horror as a rat boldly walked accross the lawn and picked up an apple in it's mouth.Then it tried to carry the apple though a hole in the fence.

No luck, the apple was too big ,it rolled away ,back down the grass. The rat goes back over and gets the apple back in it's jaws and this time, before he tried to go through the hole he starts rapidly ripping off chunks of apple with it's teeth ,spitting them on the ground.

I stood there with my mouth hanging open and heard myself say " you smart rat bastard."

That damn rat made the apple small enough to carry it through the hole.

Which they apparently do, quite often.

I am afraid, I am very afraid.


 In other news...oh yeah there isn't any because I'm sick as crap.

I haven't even mailed my Christmas cards yet or shopped for 3 of my kids (that would be the 3 that have sent me NO list....hint hint...Log,Beef, England)

                                          Have a great day peeps!

P.s. Be wary of those rats!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Rock me ,yo

Ola, ya'll,

Saturday, around 3 in the afternoon I had just made my mind up that there was no reason to get dressed that day.Naturally it was about 2 seconds later, when my spouse says " Come on you need to try driving the car."

I managed to drive it all the way to the shopping center where my Dentists office is located ,before it got too dark out for me to see. It was nerve wracking because of all the bicycle traffic ,the fact that I'm not used to driving a little car OR a stick shift and the presence of my husband sitting there. In spite of all that ,it did go WAYYY better than my trying to drive in England.I think eventually, I can get the hang of it. 

So what happens today? Hubby is out of the country, the cute little car is sitting right here. I chickened out and walked to the store ,with suitcase in tow. Somebody slap me!

 Tomorrow is my appointment to finally get my real crown put on my tooth. Will I have the nerve to drive myself there?

We shall see .


After all the time I've been here ,yesterday my husband was kind enough to hook up the speakers on my computer. (Thank God!) 

Today ,after I cleaned and did laundry I went crazy trying to buy music from Amazon. No dice! 

I finally managed to get myself an Itunes account which DOES work in Denmark.  Yippeee!!! I am thrilled to now have some Christmas music, and Nickelbacks new album. Woot!
So if any one needs me I'll be over here rockin' out :)

 And maybe re-trying the cats Christmas pictures.

Christmas picture FAIL!

Have a great day guys! Luv me   

Saturday, December 3, 2011

My French loverboy....

Hi ya'll,

   Yesterday, I left here (after my chores) which was about 1 in the afternoon and my plan was to go to this Christmas market I had read about. I took the big camera ,ready to see some sights! 

I took the train to Vesterport and then walked to the Christmas market ,which turned out to be this little tiny market  not really even picture worthy AND it was raining. 

 So, seeing as it was so late and I hadn't eaten a thing yet ,I went to McDonalds and had myself a double cheeseburger meal.I then just began walking around to see what I might find and I wound up on Stroget ,the big shopping street. I walked all the way down that, hoping to take some pictures. Due to the rain, I could only have the camera out for a few seconds and even then, every time I saw a shot I wanted, people would stop and stand right in my way. 

 So, here's what I saw ...for those few seconds......

   When I got to the end of Stroget ,I wound up at kongens nytorv . They have a huge department store there so I went in for a while and tried on hats. (trying to find one that I might LOVE for Christmas) 

I think my hair or my head is too big ,because some of them fit me like little kid hats. Needless to say ,I had no luck finding a hat that was any better than the OLD one I have from Chicago!(and by better , I mean cuter)  There were plenty of functional hats or hats that made me look like a peeled onion. Excuse me if I want a flattering hat,a hat that transforms me into a winter vision . LOL

Anyhow, by then I was sweating like a pig ,in my huge ass puffy coat. So I left there ,took the metro to Norreport and was just about to take the train home, when I realized, due to my FINE ,I had better not get on that train without a ticket for the extra zones.

 Well, every ticket machine in the place was out of order. I had to go up to street level, to the actual ticket office. I got there and got my number "63" ,they were on number "40".I continue sweltering in my freakin' puffy coat ,for about an hour ,until my number is finally called. Since I was THERE, I went ahead and had them fix my zones on my pass, to include the zone where I live.

I finally got outside in the freezing, yet refreshing air and I stopped to put my coat back on, some guy said something to me as I was doing that.

me: " I'm sorry, I don't understand."

 him: (in perfect english, yet with a french accent)
"Oh ,I understand you perfectly, you are a beautiful woman. "

me: "Thank you.Have a nice day " (trying to get on my merry way)

him " You are VERY beautiful . Have a nice Christmas ."

Ok, so he may or may not have been a homeless guy. At this age, I'll take a complement any where I can get it.

  Don't hate me because I'm beautiful . Bwa ha ha !

have a great day guys! Luv me

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Lady, you are out of your zones....

   Hi ya'll,

I'm hoping this flare up of schleprockism is going to be over soon.

Yes, it continues....

Yesterday, I left here with the idea that I would take the train to the end of the line just to see what was out there. The end would be about 4 or5 stops past where I sometimes grocery shop.  
So there I am on the train when the Officers come by and ask everyone for their tickets.  I pulled out my little pass and was rudely informed that "I was out of my zones" which, apparently I have been for nearly a month now.

Click to big-gen it . 
I have a pass for zones 1,2 and 3. I LIVE in zone 32. Yesterday I was in zone 55 .I clearly have the wrong PASS!

The officer wasted no time before writing me a ticket to the tune of 750 Danish Kronor,which is $132.00


 I have finished what little Christmas decorating I planned to do.I haven't even started shopping . Yikes!

Flying cat

some old cards :)

Last nights pear cake (yum!)

The only non cluttered room we have

Christmas pig
O'Reilly enjoying some rare sun

The tree with mostly cheap ornaments. I can not find an angel for the top anywhere.

I found these old twin elves at the thrift store the other day. I love them!   

Blogger won't let me move anything now, so farewell for today peeps. have a wonderful day! love me

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tis' the season to be a hag

Ok, it's either never post again.....or just go with my rant. Maybe if I purge myself, I will cease to be such a rabid witch.

Where to start? I suppose after my last rabid post :)

 I was supposed to go to the dentist on Thanksgiving, right. I walk to the bus stop take the long ass bus ride, I was so nervous I couldn't even sleep the night before. I get to the dentist office, sit and wait .and wait. I'm finally IN the chair waiting and the dentist comes in and says "we have a problem, our suction machine has broken down, and you will have to come back tomorrow. Good thing I didn't already numb you up."

 Good for whom?

 Take my half hour bus ride back home (livid, mind you) and get all set for repeating the whole thing at 9 A.M .on Friday morning.

Luckily we went out to eat Chinese food on Thanksgiving. I was able to scarf down my food on the side with OUT a broken tooth .My mood was not good.

 I got up at the crack of dawn the next day and made my way to the dentist. Usually, when I go have dental work I grip the arm rest's in a death grip during the entire process.

Well, picture it....this dental office is stark MODERN, mostly white, futuristic looking place. I am all laid back in the chair, with my head on this little uncomfortable square when I realize there are NO armrests!

I had to grip my own hands in the death grip!

I made it through the dreaded crown prep, took my long ass bus ride back home and my temporary crown didn't even fall out until the next night.

 The weekend was freezing, with 40 MPH wind blowing; needless to say I did not go any where.
I did however; continue to feel even more negative and bitchy.

Some time Monday morning, I felt like such a bitch I actually said, aloud "Get thee behind me Satan and stay out of my life!"

Shortly after that, I got in the shower and I was thinking “Man, I can't believe hubby took a shower this cool." (The water stays at the temp it's set on) I turned the water up hotter and by the time my head was covered in shampoo, I realized that the water was getting colder, not hotter. S*it, there was NO hot water!

I skipped the conditioner and barely rinsed the soap out of my hair with ice water.

 Then, I decided I was going to go run my errands with a bigger suitcase than usual. There I was in the mall leaving Frederiksberg, after filling the big suitcase up with heavy groceries, when I hear this *clump* clump* noise and step on a black piece of plastic. What was it, you ask? It was the wheel of my suitcase falling apart, of course.

 I wheeled it going *clump* clump* onto the Metro to Christianshavn and then across the street to the pharmacy (where I had to get my prescriptions and some DENTU GRIP to hopefully, hold my crown in) it was then, that the second wheel began falling apart.

 I had these visions of having to drag the damn thing home, but there were some smaller, crappier wheels INSIDE the outer wheels. So it was a bumpy pulling, but I made it home, still semi -rolling. Devil be damned!

 After I was home I spoke to my spouse and told him about the "no hot water" situation. About an hour later, I realized there was also NO heat.

He got home after 7;30 and then had to spend the next 5 hours on the phone with the gas company and working on the heater/water thingy (that's the technical term) :)

 I spent that time trying to keep my bitchy mouth shut and decorated the Christmas tree.

 Must relax....ommmmm....ommmmmmm...

 Come on good moods :))) (and new tooth and warm ,non windy days)

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I always get behind when my damn teeth fall out.......

Picture it, night before last ...my spouse was out of the country so there I was enjoying my favorite frozen Thai food and a piece of bread .(the official dinner of lazy expat housewives ,when left alone) and what happens? 
 One of my damn teeth crumbles to bits right in my bite of food.

My teeth falling out or falling to peices is one of my most frequent ,recurring nightmares BTW. 

Before I came back to Denmark, I went to my dentist..I had xrays, a check up ,even got the old pearlies cleaned.

At that visit ,my dentist actually said to me,while gazing at my xrays.... "I'd like to shake the hand of the guy who did your fillings, these things are a work of art."

Now ,I realize what he really meant "you have more metal than teeth in there, what an artist that guy must have been."

So ,yesterday I got to make an appointment with a NEW dentist. Naturally they were booked solid ,as was my old dentist.So I was able to go in and see Jesper,a young hygenist who stuffed my tooth with a foul tasting, rough temporary filling .He also xrayed my tooth and said " oh, this is bad. You're going to have to get a crown."

Nothing I hate more than dental work.*shudder*
The only other time I've gotten  a crown (my dentist knew what a wreck I was) he gave me laughing gas while they did it.

So,please bear with me while my life is ruined. I go back tomorrow to get some temporary crown ,then back 2 weeks later to get the final one.

Meanwhile, tomorrow night I will be going out for Thanksgiving dinner at the Chinese restaurant, chewing very carefully on one side .I told hubby "Lets just go out, it winds up costing a fortune when we try to make a Turkey dinner over here and it's just not worth it."

So that's my thrilling news. If I owe you email, sorry, I'm getting caught up as fast as I can.

I went to a couple flea markets this weekend and here's what I found . Woot!

Christmas candle holders

Two of these weird lamps

The boys ,watching birdies

cute little dear head

black lantern

the other lamp


and this bad ass ice bucket from Germany