Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tis' the season to be a hag

Ok, it's either never post again.....or just go with my rant. Maybe if I purge myself, I will cease to be such a rabid witch.

Where to start? I suppose after my last rabid post :)

 I was supposed to go to the dentist on Thanksgiving, right. I walk to the bus stop take the long ass bus ride, I was so nervous I couldn't even sleep the night before. I get to the dentist office, sit and wait .and wait. I'm finally IN the chair waiting and the dentist comes in and says "we have a problem, our suction machine has broken down, and you will have to come back tomorrow. Good thing I didn't already numb you up."

 Good for whom?

 Take my half hour bus ride back home (livid, mind you) and get all set for repeating the whole thing at 9 A.M .on Friday morning.

Luckily we went out to eat Chinese food on Thanksgiving. I was able to scarf down my food on the side with OUT a broken tooth .My mood was not good.

 I got up at the crack of dawn the next day and made my way to the dentist. Usually, when I go have dental work I grip the arm rest's in a death grip during the entire process.

Well, picture it....this dental office is stark MODERN, mostly white, futuristic looking place. I am all laid back in the chair, with my head on this little uncomfortable square when I realize there are NO armrests!

I had to grip my own hands in the death grip!

I made it through the dreaded crown prep, took my long ass bus ride back home and my temporary crown didn't even fall out until the next night.

 The weekend was freezing, with 40 MPH wind blowing; needless to say I did not go any where.
I did however; continue to feel even more negative and bitchy.

Some time Monday morning, I felt like such a bitch I actually said, aloud "Get thee behind me Satan and stay out of my life!"

Shortly after that, I got in the shower and I was thinking “Man, I can't believe hubby took a shower this cool." (The water stays at the temp it's set on) I turned the water up hotter and by the time my head was covered in shampoo, I realized that the water was getting colder, not hotter. S*it, there was NO hot water!

I skipped the conditioner and barely rinsed the soap out of my hair with ice water.

 Then, I decided I was going to go run my errands with a bigger suitcase than usual. There I was in the mall leaving Frederiksberg, after filling the big suitcase up with heavy groceries, when I hear this *clump* clump* noise and step on a black piece of plastic. What was it, you ask? It was the wheel of my suitcase falling apart, of course.

 I wheeled it going *clump* clump* onto the Metro to Christianshavn and then across the street to the pharmacy (where I had to get my prescriptions and some DENTU GRIP to hopefully, hold my crown in) it was then, that the second wheel began falling apart.

 I had these visions of having to drag the damn thing home, but there were some smaller, crappier wheels INSIDE the outer wheels. So it was a bumpy pulling, but I made it home, still semi -rolling. Devil be damned!

 After I was home I spoke to my spouse and told him about the "no hot water" situation. About an hour later, I realized there was also NO heat.

He got home after 7;30 and then had to spend the next 5 hours on the phone with the gas company and working on the heater/water thingy (that's the technical term) :)

 I spent that time trying to keep my bitchy mouth shut and decorated the Christmas tree.

 Must relax....ommmmm....ommmmmmm...

 Come on good moods :))) (and new tooth and warm ,non windy days)

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I always get behind when my damn teeth fall out.......

Picture it, night before last ...my spouse was out of the country so there I was enjoying my favorite frozen Thai food and a piece of bread .(the official dinner of lazy expat housewives ,when left alone) and what happens? 
 One of my damn teeth crumbles to bits right in my bite of food.

My teeth falling out or falling to peices is one of my most frequent ,recurring nightmares BTW. 

Before I came back to Denmark, I went to my dentist..I had xrays, a check up ,even got the old pearlies cleaned.

At that visit ,my dentist actually said to me,while gazing at my xrays.... "I'd like to shake the hand of the guy who did your fillings, these things are a work of art."

Now ,I realize what he really meant "you have more metal than teeth in there, what an artist that guy must have been."

So ,yesterday I got to make an appointment with a NEW dentist. Naturally they were booked solid ,as was my old dentist.So I was able to go in and see Jesper,a young hygenist who stuffed my tooth with a foul tasting, rough temporary filling .He also xrayed my tooth and said " oh, this is bad. You're going to have to get a crown."

Nothing I hate more than dental work.*shudder*
The only other time I've gotten  a crown (my dentist knew what a wreck I was) he gave me laughing gas while they did it.

So,please bear with me while my life is ruined. I go back tomorrow to get some temporary crown ,then back 2 weeks later to get the final one.

Meanwhile, tomorrow night I will be going out for Thanksgiving dinner at the Chinese restaurant, chewing very carefully on one side .I told hubby "Lets just go out, it winds up costing a fortune when we try to make a Turkey dinner over here and it's just not worth it."

So that's my thrilling news. If I owe you email, sorry, I'm getting caught up as fast as I can.

I went to a couple flea markets this weekend and here's what I found . Woot!

Christmas candle holders

Two of these weird lamps

The boys ,watching birdies

cute little dear head

black lantern

the other lamp


and this bad ass ice bucket from Germany

Friday, November 18, 2011

Sorry ,you are NO squirrel

 We have this apple tree in our back yard .Right now it is still covered with bird pecked apples (or so I thought) I was all "oh how quaint, we have an apple tree"

Picture it, the other morning I'm sitting outside ,smoking, right as the sun is coming up. I look over at the apple tree and think I see the silhouette of a bird. I do a double take .No it is not a bird ,it is an 'effin RAT!


 I am totally skeeved out with horror. I try to calm myself down by saying " just think of it as a squirrel with a reall ugly tail"

The next day ,I see another rat in the tree. Now I am afraid to put my feet down on the ground when it is dark out side. I have never had the fear that a squirrel is going to come climb up my legs. Sorry rats. You've got to go! Someone please tell me how to get rats out of my yard and my tree!


       Yesterday I went to fredericksberg to my favorite thrift store and what did I find?

  A fire King baking dish! I grew up seeing the fire king cups at my grandmas.I don't even recall seeing any bake ware.I got it for 20 kronars...which is about $3.62 .....WOOT!


Sunday, I walked to the store carrying two huge bags of empty plastic bottles. They have these machines here where you put the bottles in and it gives you a reciept which you cash in for money.(you pay a deposit on those bottles)

 So I get to the store and they are closed (welcome to Sunday in Denmark) I look accross the street and see that nothing is open except 7-11. I trudge over there with my bags of bottles (looking like an idiot),I dig my little purse out of one of the bags and buy some diet coke, then trudge back home.

Well a couple days later I notice that my money is gone. I had a 500 kronar bill in there.(about 90 US dollars) I call hubby "did you take some money out of my purse?" " No"

Isn't that special. Apparently someone in 7-11 had a very lucky day last Sunday when they found my money on the floor. Damn it!

                                                              Have a great day Peeps!
                                                                     luv me

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A day in the life.....in pictures

I decided to do a picture post of a day in the glamorous life of an expat. Try not to be jealous ya'll.God don't like ugly.

  The day started with Cavuto breaking a glass by knocking it off of my nightstand. Meaning I then had to get up,lock them out of the bedroom and go get the vacuume cleaner before one of them ate glass or cut their feet to ribbons.

The pictures begin after that .

cleaned the house

did laundry

Made some toast

finally left the house around noon .it took so long to do laundry I didn't even bother to put makeup on.

on the way to the train

walking down my street (me and my suitcase)

took the train to Norreport

inside the train

from Norreport ,I took the Metro to our old neighborhhod. Our old apartment is on the 10th floor of that last building on the left.I went there to go to Bilka ,hoping they would have garden gloves and paint.

They did not. Took the Metro to Amergerbro.

Walked over to the "salvation army" ,found NOTHING at all.

Had a piece of the thinnest ,yummiest pizza at the Amergerbro centret.Then went to the hardware store ,did find garden gloves and some of the paint I needed.

Family plan bicycle.I need one of these to do some real shopping!

Took the Metro back to Norreport

At Norreport,caught my train towards home.

Got to my station to realize it was an hour earlier than my cell phone said and I could have stayed out longer.

Walked home with my suitcase (ready to unload the days haul)

All that walking and traveling for THIS!Makes me miss being able to jump in my truck and be at Walmart in 3 minutes.

Tried to take a nap.It didn't work. Went ahead and laid there for about an hour.

Put dinner in the oven.(we were having leftovers because we had company the night before and had made a pork roast and some yummy greek potatoes)

put away the dishes

Made myself a drink. (that is a napkin scotch taped around the glass so my hands don't freeze off when i have to go outside to smoke)

checked on the cats (they are napping on top of the water heater)

worked on some pictures on my computer.

still no sign of hubby

put some green beans on low ,to go with dinner

hubby still not home

turn oven down as low as it will go

check on cats. they're up from their nap

looking for trouble

make myself another drink

take some pictures of Cavuto (for blog headers)

hubby finally calls and is "on the way home"

go check my email and facebook.

decide I am starving and eat a brownie

gaze at clock in exasperation,hubby finally gets home

start getting stuff ready for dinner

hubby relaxes for a while and has a drink
figure I am still hungry and could use some olives

we are finally ready to eat dinner
only a few hours OVER cooked.

Good night Irene! The thrill of it all has exhausted me.

I think this also answers that age old question "why do so many housewives become fat alcoholics?"

You're welcome :)