Tayin' in the wane.... (now with more)

Ola Peeps,


 The other day while "I" was in cake heaven.......my spouse had this to say:


"Grandma had more frosting on hers"

"It needs to be in the refrigerator" (that's how Grandma did it)

"Grandma made it into a layer cake"  (as would I ,had the f'n thing come OUT of the pan)


Well excuuuuuuuuse me.



 




That reminded me of this other "cake incident" .....Picture it ...the olden days.....I think I was 23 years old.


 My dear little sister, Soul, was turning 19 years old.


 I take 3 babies and walk my fat self to the store to buy the stuff to make her a cake. One walking, one tripping over his own feet ,every few seconds and me carrying one 30 pound baby, the whole way.


I get home, whip up the cake and wait for my precious to get home.


Miss Priss arrives home and does not even EAT any of the cake! "Uh, sorry, I have plans with my friends."



Oh I should have learned my lesson back then.




Note to self: Never make a surprise cake for a Taurus EVER again.

Question to self: Why are the most significant people in my life ALL Taurus's? I must be a glutton for punishment.

(Update: my sister has informed me of HER version of events....you may see them here

http://soulmange.blogspot.com/2012/04/lost-in-translation.html

She came up with a pic too, note that the cake is not even cut. lol

*****************************************************



Yesterday, I had the joy of riding the bus to Frederiksberg, which I haven't done in quite some time. Now that we have a car, I usually wait for the days when I have the car.



I forgot what hell it is to ride the bus. I left the house, pulling my suitcase and walk to the bus stop. The weather wasn't too cold, maybe 50 degrees, but the damn wind was blowing like crazy.



By the time the bus showed up, mascara was streaming down my face from the damn wind making my eyes water.



The trip to Frederiksberg takes about 6 minutes in the car; on the bus it takes 30. The bus is sweltering hot, with the heat blaring. I remove my wool coat and hold it in my lap, an obese girl sits next to me, the heat from her body is about to make me spontaneously combust.



The bus stops, seemingly, every few feet . UGH! "We’re never going to get there."



I hum to myself, sigh loudly, and scorch.



We finally arrive and I feel like stripping my clothes off and running down the street, I’m so hot.
(I didn't do that)



I drag my suitcase to both of my thrift stores and the post office, wind howling into my eyes, mascara running. I catch sight of myself in the door, wipe my eyes and then notice that my hair now looks, literally, like a crooked birds nest atop my head. I am NOT in a good mood.




Needless to say, I found zilch at either thrift store. I was becoming bitchier by the second and still had the sweltering half hour bus ride to get home.



I'll spare you the details of the return trip. :)



By the time I got home ,I was such a bitch ,I thought to myself " Man ,If I was a dog ,someone would have me put to sleep."



My mood did not improve as I waited the next few hours for hubby to get home. I needed to cook dinner; it was time for me to be in my pajamas. The longer I waited, yep, the bitchier I got.



Finally about 7 P.M. hubby called and said “Do you want to just go out and get something to eat? I'm leaving now."



Hell YES ,I want to go get something.



 Luckily ,he asked before I had a chance to annihilate him, that does tend to ruin the mood.


Well, I have NO idea where I was going with that story.  (Hello ,senility!) I guess I'm just a bitch in the wind.


                                                  I do have the car today as hubs is out of town, so hello adventure. LOL Yeah right.


                                                                          Have a great day ya'll and if it's warm and non windy where you are, I hate you .

                                                                  

                                                                     Luv me

It's alive and eating cake

Well, I see that blogger has changed every damn thing since I've been in my never ending, winter slump.
That's just peachy.




Anyhow, yep....I'm alive out here. it's going to be a sweltering 55 degrees today. So in celebration, I am forcing myself to update my dusty old blog.




Why haven't I been blogging? A few reasons ........I've barely taken any pictures since I've been back in Denmark; it’s been cold, gray and dreary. Everything dead and brown. Ugh! I have had a severe case of writers block .Not that I couldn't think of anything, just that I was thinking of too much, all the time. My mind has been like a tornado in a blender.




Here's an example.....I'll start thinking "hmmm...I really need to update my blog, what should I blog about? The trip to Sweden? Helsinki? The flea market?" Then suddenly I blurt out " Ba kawwwwwk! " and start cackling.


Why, you ask? My son Logan once said to me “look at those chicken legs. Ba kawwwwk! "
Every time I see my own legs now I squawk like a crazed chicken and start laughing..




Then from there, my mind will just wonder on to some other insane thing which is in no way related to updating my blog.




So, let's try to focus ...ok.



We are "regulars" here at a Chinese restaurant. Yes, we're in Denmark and our favorite place is a Chinese restaurant.Anyhow, we have become friends with our little waitress there and a while back we invited her over for dinner.She works 6 days a week, every week so she had to trade shifts with someone and then wait weeks to come over for dinner.




That day finally arrived, yesterday. Today is my husbands’ birthday so my plan was to make a cake for after dinner. Well, you would think that would be a no brainer, right? Well, not when everything is in Danish and there is no Betty Crocker out here baby. First of all I had to find a cake pan. The closest I came was a spring form pan. (Which I have never used before)
I had a chocolate cake mix I had bought last year. "ok, fine, I'll make that and do home made frosting"




I type the directions into google translate and apparently all I need to add is water. I mix it up; put it in the spring form pan ....the batter is only about half an inch thick. I put it in the oven and pretty soon I smell burning chocolate. The batter is leaking out the bottom of the pan into a burning little pile on the oven floor.
I scrape that out with a spatula and throw it away. The cake is now about a quarter of an inch thick.




I go to wash the bowls and taste the batter. OMG! It tastes like chocolate dish water. Clearly this is not going to work. Meanwhile the batter keeps leaking out of the pan....I open the smoldering oven and remove the chocolate pancake .The shit cake and the shit pan go into the garbage.




Back to good old google, for a chocolate cake recipe. I had to make it in a oblong pan and it wouldn't come out of the pan, but I must say it's bombdiggity delicious!




See, can't stay on track . LOL


Dinner was very interesting . T speaks pretty good english .She told me that one of the guys she works with overheard me speaking and said " She speaks very beautiful but I can not understand what she says."
Apparently my southern accent butchers the english language.





This girl is like 25 years old. She was telling us about how her parents are so "old and worn out now." We asked "how old are they ?"

" ummm" thinking ...."they born in 1967"  (hubby and I nearly fell out of our chairs)




It was fun and refreshing to have our young friend over.





And now....I'm off to eat some cake for breakfast and then the flea market is calling my name.


                                                                    Have a great day peeps!


                                                                             Love me

Helsinki, Finland

Hi ya'll,

I just went on a business trip with my spouse to Helsinki ,Finland.

It was freezin' ass cold there ,but also snowy and beautiful.The second day we were there it snowed all day. The trees were covered in snow and there are hills there, it really reminded me of Colorado.

We stayed at a hotel right by the Central train station. The town has trolly cars (trams) ,which is how I spent most of my time. I just rode random trams to see what might be out there.I also spent a lot of time shopping and on our final day ,I took a taxi to this "famous" flea market, which turned out to be absolute crap! I felt guilty for not buying anything . It was seriously pathetic.

It's very gray and dark there. The sun didn't really come up until around 9 A.M. ,and then not much of it.

This made for some hideous picture taking. Also most of them were taken thru the window of the trams.

                                                     (click 'em to see them full sized) 

                                                              Have a great day peeps! 

Oh yeah, P.S. no sign of any of my rats since we've been home. The thought of them being dead makes me feel awful :(

Finnish hotel room

Finnish hotel bathroom

The view from our room

 

 

 

 

 

More hotel room

Sorry Wilbur,you must go......

Hi Peeps,

Yesterday, I did go to the loppemarked (flea market), the thing is held in a huge event auditorium. 

the actual place (photo from google images)

There were so many people in there, walking down the aisles is more like one mass shuffle. This makes it very difficult to actually get near enough to each table to look very closely OR to actually buy anything.

Add to this, I was pulling my trusty suitcase with a bag tied to the handle and with no where to put my giant, puffy coat, I had it tied around my waist. (Only sweltering from the waist down,baby)

Most of the merchandise was overpriced antiques. I was searching for the few regular old people, selling their crap, cheap! 

Not that I wouldn’t have bought some little antique, if I found something I loved, but mostly, I didn’t love any of it. The majority of it is either, A. blue and white or B. looks like it came from the 60’s, I like neither.

However, I did find a few little things and they were cheap too. Woot!

Canvas cat art

Little planter and also my new PERFECT tattoo idea (to cover my old one)

6 cheery placemats

2 cute egg baskets

A mess of various picture frames

3 baskets and a little cream pitcher

 and the most expensive thing I bought was a hot dog!

 **********************************************

You know a while back, I posted about how we have rats in our backyard?

Well, since then I have done a lot of rat watching, at first, I tried to convince myself “maybe it’s just ONE rat.” 

I named him Wilbur.

 Eventually, I spotted a lighter one, then a darker one, then a pair of smaller ones. My magical thinking had to be abandoned. The more I saw them, hopping with apples in their mouths, the more I began having visions of myself out there, feeding them cat food when it got too cold out.

I turned to good old Google and did some rat research. “Humane ways to get rid of rats”

Apparently, such a thing does not exist. I did find out the horrors of traps, in which rats have been known to chew their own legs off trying to escape, and sticky traps, where sometimes their face could become stuck and they would lay that way for days until they died. The most humane thing is the poison, which is a blood thinner. The rats actually hemorrage to death, internally (hopefully VERY quickly)

I also learned that rats can begin reproducing at 3 weeks old! Wilbur was well on his way to having his own country out there. 

I found out, during my rat-search that here in Denmark you’re supposed to report it to the city if you have rats.

Of course the city website is in Danish . Here’s is what it said (after translating)

“rats

Instances of rats must be reported to the municipality, which sends a rat fights out on the property to initiate combat.

The municipality must provide rodent control. Homeowners, in turn, obliged to keep buildings in good rat proof condition and ensure that there is a reasonable order, etc., so you do not give rats for good living opportunities.

Once you have notified a rat, you will receive a letter from us about things you can do yourself before rat anti transferee arrives.”

Having apples all over the yard was “giving rats good living opportunity” so my spouse cleaned them all up (again) this weekend. 

Bright and early this morning, I filled out the form on the city website to report "my instance of rats”.

About half an hour ago there was a knock on my door.

Me: still in my pajamas “who is it? “

Him: (in perfect English) “It’s the rat guy” 

Man, these "rat fights" don’t mess around! So, the rat guy just filled some contraption with nice, humane, rat poison and left it by Wilbur and families main rat hole.

Yes, I DO feel awful.

Well, ya'll I have a date with 6 dress shirts and a hot iron. (whoopie!)

                                                 

                                                                   Have a great day ! Luv me

P.S. remember these 2 things....rat traps and french cuff shirts are EVIL.

She's baaacccck....

 Some things never change...it's that time of year again ...hag season.


 Note the date : Apply the same to today's date .


*****************************************************

 January , 2008

The ravages of winter.......

Dry itchy skin? Check











Hairy, neglected unshaven legs? Check.














Sporting the last few polish flecks of Octobers pedicure? Check.












White and pasty so age spots are shining like beacons? Check.










All muscle tone has turned to flab. Now resemble an enormous jelly fish? Check.









Attitude and outlook resembles steaming pile of crap? Check.






Yep, the ravages of winter have stolen me.













If you come looking for her.....















you will find the damn winter version.













 I just found the post below ,I never posted it or maybe never finished it. I don't know .






*****************************************************************


11/7/11



Well, last night was my first night alone in the new house. I was pretty sure it would be scary, 'cuz that's my nature. I was right. I had to go out in the back yard to smoke, which was totally dark except for a string of white Christmas lights, twice a dry grape leaf blew across the patio and I screamed like a girl, thinking it was a mouse or something.




Every time I heard Cavuto clomp down the stairs, I was sure that it was a burglar/rapist/murderer. Every time I left the house and returned, I threw the shower curtain open to make sure no one was hiding in there.




So, today I took the bus to Frederickberg, which takes half an hour. I got off the bus and spent about an hour ,going through the store ,with my list in hand, I finally get to the checkout, and baby boy has a pimple the size of a rhino, right on the end of his nose. As I'm standing there, waiting impatiently for my turn, I am thinking "UGH, if I was that age and had to go to work like that I would have just died."




I'm feeling totally sorry for the poor kid.  He starts ringing MY stuff up, I start shoving it into my suitcase, and THEN he informs me that the credit card machine is broken “you can only use cash; I should have had a sign. If you walk down the street 3 minutes, you can find a bank."




At this point, I had been walking around this damn store for an hour, only finding half of the stuff on my list, wearing a big ass puffy, sleeping bag of a coat, and when he said this to me, I was none too happy. Then I was all, (in my mind) "you gotta be kidding me, pimple head? WTF didn't you tell me that before???"




 Naturally, I didn't say that.
I DID say “are you sure it's broken?" He tried it again. NOPE. It's f'n broken.




He says “you promise you're going to come back? I'll keep your stuff right here."



"Yeah, I just wasted half my day finding that stuff!" (Getting grouchier and sweatier, by the second)"I'll BE BACK"



I was so roasting in the store, that I had taken my hot scarf off and tied it around the handle of my suitcase, so there I am ,trying to rush down the damn street to the bank and I keep stepping on my stupid scarf because it's dragging on the nasty ground ,under my wheels.
(Trust me, I was feeling sweeter by the minute.....NOT!)




I pass the same 2 beggar girls, sitting on the ground, twice! One on each side of the street, feel guilty, look away, have NO cash!





I manage to walk down to the graffiti covered bank machine, my card actually works and I don't get mugged, I sweat my way back to the store, go right back to pimple head, he lets me cut in front of the other 10 people in line, my stuff barely fits into my suitcase and then you have to go to a separate checkout to buy bread, cigarettes or alcohol. I get over there and they do not have my f'n bread, but at least THEIR credit card machine is working .





I finally get out of store hell and it's freezing cold outside, but I’m still roasting in my puffy coat. I then hot foot it down the street to my favorite thrift store, the REASON I came to this town. When I get there the door is locked, another woman approaches the same the as me and begins speaking to me in Danish.




I tell her (my usual) "I'm sorry, I don't understand."



Then she tells me, in English "They closed at 2:00 today."



No explanation or anything, the sign just said "we close at 2:00 today"



I was hot, sweating, rushed and now...LIVID.




Too bad for me. LOL    These people are sooo polite/kind/patient??? They do not have the rage that us Americans have over our instant gratification being set asunder.




It was about 3:00 by this time and getting dark soon, so I had had enough. I got the next bus home.




After my half hour bus ride , I was walking home and I passed this blonde girl (because she was walking too slow ) so then I got to my gate and was checking my mailbox ,before I went into the yard and she started talking to me ,in Danish. Naturally, I went to my standard response "I'm sorry, I don't understand."





Bless her heart, she spoke to me in English, and told me that she lived 3 houses down from me. I was so shocked (and/or rude, I did not get her name, nor did I give her mine)




I was just so glad to be home.... alll my manners were burned up by this point. (I'm so disgusted)


************************************************************************


Have I mentioned how I loathe winter? yeah, I figured I had.


I really have nothing new to report...at all.   I did go to the national museum on New years day. It was one of the only things open. Today , I'm off to the flea market. Maybe that will drag me out of my winter hagginess for a few days.


                                                     Have a great day ! 

And we're out of prison

Hi Ya'll ,



I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.



Ours was as good as being all alone ,except for each other, and being held prisoner by public holidays ,would allow.



That translates to we've been stuck in this house since Friday ,with nothing in town open, no where to go ,nothing to do, and we've been going mad with boredom.






We have entertained ourselves by napping exsessivly,spying on the rats in the back yard ,watching episode after episode of Dexter in the middle of the night, and smoking too many cigarettes.

Family and scabble desperately needed here

The famous self made, double baking pan :) sweet potato casserole on one side,stuffing on the other.

Amazingly ,all our food turned out fabulous!











Including the zombie turkey.

"who wants some turkey?"

"we do! we do! I can really have some turkey?"

Trot ..trot.. trot...

"You are awesome mama!We LOVE turkey!"

Huge table for 2, almost sad ,isn't it?

Daddy's bland ,unseasoned food

MMMMM...that's more like it!

Malmo,Sweden

Yesterday ,we could take no more of being stuck in this house. We decided to take a drive over the bridge to Malmo ,Sweden. 




Little did we know that we would be charged a 295 Dkk toll on EACH side of the bridge. Yowza! 




I took several pictures but it was so gray and dreary out ,the pictures were all crap. 




Had I been alone, I would have parked some place and walked around or something. Butttt....since hubby was in charge, we just drove around for a while and then headed back over the bridge to Copenhagen. He was in a hurry to get back because we had found out that the hardware store was open. 




No, I'm not kidding.


At that point ,walking around the hardware store sounded like a grand adventure, even to me.




And he DID put the doors on our closets last night. So, it's all good.




I'm dying to know what everyone got from Santa! 




Copenhagen is back among the living today ,everything is back open,so I am out of here!




                                     Have a great day peeps!


                                             luv me