Friday, October 30, 2015

The most dreaded patient in any E.R.

Well, yesterday was one of the worst days of my life.

Picture it....I had taken 7 correctols in the past 24 hours . They did absolutely nothing. Around 2 p.m. I tell my husband,who was working from home "If nothing happens in the next hour ,we better go to the E.R. "

An hour later ,we're on our way to the E.R.
Naturally they are all "what brings you here?" I embarrassedly tell them the deal and "my doctor told me to come " ect..ect..

Hubby sets himself up in the waiting room with his portable office in tow. I look around the packed waiting room and think to myself "I'm sure I am the lowest priority in here. " so I pull out my phone and think I will find some way to entertain myself. My battery is totally dead. I dig the brand new charger cord out of my purse and hand it to hubby to plug it in. He does ,and then I try to get my phone closer to me .Hubby grouchily snarls at me "It won't reach."

Oh boy. This opens the flood gates for me to start bawling.I try to stop but I can't .

 Pretty soon they call me back and put me in a room . I go thru the humiliation of telling a tech, 2 nurses ,an x-ray tech and finally a cute ,young doctor "what brings me there."

All the while the tears are silently rolling down my face. I keep wiping them off but for the life of me ,I can not stop crying.

Dr. Young-un tells me they will do an x-ray to see if I do in fact have a "fecal impaction" . Just the words make me want to shrivel up and die. He goes on to tell me that they have a "wonderful new tool called the dis-impactor, it is sort  of like a bottle brush ,which we can squirt water up thru the center.It breaks up the mass. It's unpleasant , but it usually does the job. "

They leave me in the room for a while and I continue trying to stop the tears. They will not stop.

Finally a nurse shows up with a bunch of towels and a portable toilet.  (ut oh)
Dr. Young-un returns with the dis-impactor KIT , which is actually 3 different uh...bottle brushes. They put me on my side and proceeded to dis-impact me. (oh the f'n joy)

I don't think I need to describe how horrible and embarrassing this was. Then they left me alone for a while to "cook" lol

After not much happening ,I got dressed and told them ,over the call button that ,
I was ready to go . Then I caught myself and said "Oh , I mean ready to leave."

Now ,the tears have been replaced with a clammy cold sweat ,a feeling that I'm about to faint and a severe case of nausea. Yay, I finally stopped crying.

I went straight to bed as soon as we got home ,my pain pills were not working ,my fever had returned and the above symptoms were still out in full force. I seriously felt like I was dying.
Woke up at 3:oo A.M. ,shivering and in so much pain I could barely even turn myself over.

So ,today I am laying low ,waiting for the rest of the uh...matter to come on down.

Just when you think things couldn't be any worse....Oh YES, YES they can.


  1. Glad you received treatment! I hope you have a much more enjoyable conclusion to your recovery!

  2. good god do i need to come babysit? I have a turkey baster...

    1. i wish you would. lol but leave the turkey bster

  3. Oh Goodness! I am so sorry! I really hope you empty out painlessly. : (