Sunday, January 8, 2012

She's baaacccck....

 Some things never's that time of year again ...hag season.

 Note the date : Apply the same to today's date .


 January , 2008

The ravages of winter.......

Dry itchy skin? Check

Hairy, neglected unshaven legs? Check.

Sporting the last few polish flecks of Octobers pedicure? Check.

White and pasty so age spots are shining like beacons? Check.

All muscle tone has turned to flab. Now resemble an enormous jelly fish? Check.

Attitude and outlook resembles steaming pile of crap? Check.

Yep, the ravages of winter have stolen me.

If you come looking for her.....

you will find the damn winter version.

 I just found the post below ,I never posted it or maybe never finished it. I don't know .



Well, last night was my first night alone in the new house. I was pretty sure it would be scary, 'cuz that's my nature. I was right. I had to go out in the back yard to smoke, which was totally dark except for a string of white Christmas lights, twice a dry grape leaf blew across the patio and I screamed like a girl, thinking it was a mouse or something.

Every time I heard Cavuto clomp down the stairs, I was sure that it was a burglar/rapist/murderer. Every time I left the house and returned, I threw the shower curtain open to make sure no one was hiding in there.

So, today I took the bus to Frederickberg, which takes half an hour. I got off the bus and spent about an hour ,going through the store ,with my list in hand, I finally get to the checkout, and baby boy has a pimple the size of a rhino, right on the end of his nose. As I'm standing there, waiting impatiently for my turn, I am thinking "UGH, if I was that age and had to go to work like that I would have just died."

I'm feeling totally sorry for the poor kid.  He starts ringing MY stuff up, I start shoving it into my suitcase, and THEN he informs me that the credit card machine is broken “you can only use cash; I should have had a sign. If you walk down the street 3 minutes, you can find a bank."

At this point, I had been walking around this damn store for an hour, only finding half of the stuff on my list, wearing a big ass puffy, sleeping bag of a coat, and when he said this to me, I was none too happy. Then I was all, (in my mind) "you gotta be kidding me, pimple head? WTF didn't you tell me that before???"

 Naturally, I didn't say that.
I DID say “are you sure it's broken?" He tried it again. NOPE. It's f'n broken.

He says “you promise you're going to come back? I'll keep your stuff right here."

"Yeah, I just wasted half my day finding that stuff!" (Getting grouchier and sweatier, by the second)"I'll BE BACK"

I was so roasting in the store, that I had taken my hot scarf off and tied it around the handle of my suitcase, so there I am ,trying to rush down the damn street to the bank and I keep stepping on my stupid scarf because it's dragging on the nasty ground ,under my wheels.
(Trust me, I was feeling sweeter by the minute.....NOT!)

I pass the same 2 beggar girls, sitting on the ground, twice! One on each side of the street, feel guilty, look away, have NO cash!

I manage to walk down to the graffiti covered bank machine, my card actually works and I don't get mugged, I sweat my way back to the store, go right back to pimple head, he lets me cut in front of the other 10 people in line, my stuff barely fits into my suitcase and then you have to go to a separate checkout to buy bread, cigarettes or alcohol. I get over there and they do not have my f'n bread, but at least THEIR credit card machine is working .

I finally get out of store hell and it's freezing cold outside, but I’m still roasting in my puffy coat. I then hot foot it down the street to my favorite thrift store, the REASON I came to this town. When I get there the door is locked, another woman approaches the same the as me and begins speaking to me in Danish.

I tell her (my usual) "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Then she tells me, in English "They closed at 2:00 today."

No explanation or anything, the sign just said "we close at 2:00 today"

I was hot, sweating, rushed and now...LIVID.

Too bad for me. LOL    These people are sooo polite/kind/patient??? They do not have the rage that us Americans have over our instant gratification being set asunder.

It was about 3:00 by this time and getting dark soon, so I had had enough. I got the next bus home.

After my half hour bus ride , I was walking home and I passed this blonde girl (because she was walking too slow ) so then I got to my gate and was checking my mailbox ,before I went into the yard and she started talking to me ,in Danish. Naturally, I went to my standard response "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Bless her heart, she spoke to me in English, and told me that she lived 3 houses down from me. I was so shocked (and/or rude, I did not get her name, nor did I give her mine)

I was just so glad to be home.... alll my manners were burned up by this point. (I'm so disgusted)


Have I mentioned how I loathe winter? yeah, I figured I had.

I really have nothing new to all.   I did go to the national museum on New years day. It was one of the only things open. Today , I'm off to the flea market. Maybe that will drag me out of my winter hagginess for a few days.

                                                     Have a great day ! 


  1. get your yankee rear end to a spa and get a treatment! I am sure it isn't as bad as you say.

  2. That is just to have you talked to your neighbor again? should take some coffee, and go invite yourself!

  3. lol mean azz hag you I think ya better go suck up to the new neighbor :0( maybe come spring :0)

  4. You need a big dose of self esteem. It's not all that bad and you are not all that bad. Get acquainted with the neighbor girl - you will be glad you did. Maybe she has a pet cat or two. G5