Monday, May 28, 2012

Like robins eggs in an eagle nest....

My little Hayden :)

Ugh! I'm so disgusted with the new blogger, I can not even function enough in here to do a post.

I'm going to just plow though it as best I read between the lines or

I was going to tell you guys all about my wonderful trip home from Denmark, but first I think I need to get something else off my chest.

Have any of you ever gotten fitted for bras? I am about to turn 50 years old and I have never done it. Why? Mostly because I was just too embarrassed to have someone see me standing there with the uh.....girls ...just hanging out.

I'm trying to get over this stupidity ...I mean really , who cares if some old lady sees my boobs ,right?
  I am having serious bra issues. Every time I go to Denmark I lose weight. Well, now my boobs are just lying there at the bottom of my big ole' bras.
 I went to TJ Maxx and bought some super cute new bras size smaller ,and what happens?
(after I ripped all the tags off , naturally) The old girls are bulging out over the top of the bra like crazed muffin tops. WTF?
So what size bra am I supposed to wear? Someone please share your bra fitting experience.
Can I live through it? I simply must go do it.

Oh Poodles and hoo.....add to your list of things to do for girl week "Go get fitted for bras"
You KNOW you're having bra issues.
  You're welcome :)


Ok, moving on to my lovely trip home from Denmark.

My first flight was at around 7 A.M. ,I got up at 3:45 ,(oh the joy) hubby dropped me off .He actually walked me into the airport to show me where to go because he thinks (or maybe knows) that I am incompetent.The first flight was from Copenhagen to London. I had a 3 or 4 hour layover in London and the UK is so damn strict about everything that it was impossible for me to even go outside just to smoke a frekin' cigarette.Luckily ,my spouse had bought me a "one day pass" to the Admirals club lounge.  The food they had was nothing, but they did have a recliner that I lounged in for a few hours.

The next flight was the LONG one ,from London to New York. Miracle of miracles...the plane was only about a quarter full !(this has NEVER happened!) I had two seats to myself, had it been night time, I could have found myself a row of 5 and slept away. The movies they had playing were all crap. I tried to read a book. My attention span was like a gnat. There was a young orthodox Jewish couple sitting in front of me and when we first got on the plane ,I heard him say "I'm going to find a row of seats farrr away from you."

I assumed he was just kidding because of the empty plane . But after take off he did move over to the empty row next to me. She stayed in the seat in front of me. So I spent a lot of my time watching and speculating.
(Ok, being nosy!)
They both got Kosher meals which looked and smelled better than any of the crap that I got.

Note to self " next time order some special meal"

I finally landed in New york at JFK airport. I had a few hour layover there too and I was on American soil now ,baby! I was free to go outside and smoke.

I went outside and chain smoked about 4 cigs before I went through security.

Picture it......New York, it was roasting hot ,compared to the sunless 50 degrees I was used to. The was a young girl sitting on the ground with her bra and shirt straps pulled down ...tanning herself.

I 'm sitting there smoking ,trying not to stare at how stupid she looks and then not one, but TWO,older guys (like my age) start stretching and exercising...right there in front of God and every body.

 I see young girl rolling her eyes and her , thinking "OMG , look at those old fools, HOW embarrassing!"

Inside ,I am saying "you look just as stupid honey, put your damn clothes on!"

So ,I leave the sideshow and get into the enormous security line , where every damn person waited until they got UP to the conveyer belt to THEN remove their belt, shoes, laptop..etc...

I wanted to kill them all. I get thru and rush to my gate , my plane was supposed to depart at 5:20 , the sign at the gates says "now departing at 7 p.m. " (well, isn't that special)

I now have time ,so I go to the lounge (with the rich people) haha.

I ask the lady "are they going to announce the flights in HERE ,if they change the time?"

She says "Oh ,of course they are ." (you stupid ,southern cracker crumb)

So, I go buy myself a salad ,sit and eat then go back up and ask her "has there been any change in my flight status?" (that's right ,I'm a doubting Thomas)

Her "Oh ,they're in FINAL boarding now!"  (NO F'n announcement at all!)

I run to the freak 'in gate (after I swore I would NEVER do the OJ thru an airport) and as I get to the desk ,I see my plane taxi-'en down the runway.

The gate lady checks her computer and says "Well, I have good news and bad news. There IS another flight, but it's out of Laguardia."

Me  "How am I supposed to get to Laguardia?"

"The next flight leaves in about an hour, you'll have to take a taxi."

By the time I stand in a big line to get a taxi, we pull onto the freeway and oooh big's rush hour traffic.

...............................To be continued ........stay tuned for highlights such as when i try to collect my luggage.....


  1. You should have called me -- I live in Queens, and I would have been happy to transport you!